


sea, swallow me

by dearly



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, Post TLJ, Rain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 05:24:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14561841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearly/pseuds/dearly
Summary: "And then, as if the thought willed it into existence, she feels the familiar tug in the atmosphere and he is standing next to her, as if he’s always been there."The force bond returns on a stormy seaside clifftop.





	sea, swallow me

She’s glad to be near the sea again. Though this sea, a different sea on a distant planet, rages under a thunderous, violet-tinted sky, so unlike the calm waters she’s recently been acquainted with. 

She knows she should return to base before Leia sends out the droids. Leia’s been particularly attentive to her since Crait, and Rey wonders just how much she’s been able to figure out about the events leading up to the battle.

The sky is darkening quickly, its threat of storms looming almost overhead now, but Rey remains unmoved watching the foamy white walls of water pound into the rocky cliff on which she stands. She hasn’t had a moment to herself like this in weeks. The Falcon’s cramped quarters don’t allow for much time to gather one’s thoughts and even when they settled on this abandoned base, there’d been so much work to do to get it functioning. At first, the busyness had been a blessing, she’d felt most at home when she was using her hands and fixing machinery, but gradually the fatigue had set in, both physical and mental.

A large wave crashes into the rocks sending a gentle spray over the cliff, and envelops her in a fine mist. The beads of moisture cling to her sunburned skin, cooling it in a way she, a child of the desert, will never get used to. The abundance of water, the power of it—it’s still overwhelming.

The memories of Ahch-To stir and she realizes that she’s stalling, that after all this time she’s still hoping for the feelings to return.

The breeze picks up turning the damp skin of her arms to gooseflesh and she shivers.

It’s always been at the back of her mind, but she’s been able to keep it at bay as they've been traveling from planet to planet dealing with more pressing concerns.

How could she not miss him? How could anyone not feel the agony of separation after the experiences they’ve shared?

And then, as if the thought willed it into existence, she feels the familiar tug in the atmosphere and he is standing next to her, as if he’s always been there. 

Flesh and blood, light years away yet also  _here_ with her and she with him. Both far and near at once, they shared their own cosmic dimension.

He must be in his chambers because he’s dressed casually in a black undershirt, pants, and bare feet. A button of his shirt is undone at the neck revealing a triangle of pale skin.

Mouth slightly agape, he seems just as surprised at the return of their connection as she is.

“I-I didn’t know if this was still possible,” he finally says.

“Me neither,” she says.

His eyes run over her, silently taking stock of her condition. He doesn’t ask questions, though she knows he must want answers.

Studying him more closely, she sees the fatigue in his eyes, the hollowness of his cheeks.

A flare-up of rage bubbles in her chest but cools before reaching the surface.

 _Was it worth it?_  she wants to ask, but she stops herself. She doesn’t want to fight. There’d been enough pain.

He takes a tentative step towards her. “You’re still angry with me.”

She sighs. “I just wish things were different.”

He takes another step and the sky opens up. Fat raindrops begin to fall causing him to blink and look around in a brief moment of confusion.

When he looks back down at her, with dark, wet hair plastered to his forehead, she can’t help but smile at the absurdity of it all—

The Supreme Leader standing barefoot on a rocky clifftop getting drenched in the rain.

He returns the smile, but behind the surface lies a tinge of sadness that makes her want to cry.

“What are we doing, Ben?” she asks over the roar of the storm.

Instead of answering, he brings a hand to her face and with the lightest touch moves a strand of wet hair from her eyes.

The brief contact of his fingers on her cheek sends a jolt of energy down her spine. He freezes for a moment and she knows he’s felt it too.

There’s no grand vision this time; the Force offers her nothing to soothe her worries for the future.

It’s just the two of them, just this moment. 

She recalls her revelation on the Supremacy as she stood over an unconscious Ben with a broken lightsaber in her hand. 

 _The future would unfold as the Force willed_. She would have to wait, however long that may be.

She stares into his eyes as his hand retreats.

His pain, his regret, his longing is laid bare before her. That he hasn’t closed himself off to her gives her hope.

He’s still wrestling, and for now that is enough.

They’re both thoroughly drenched now. With his dripping mop of hair and wet clothes clinging to his body, he looks so young, like for a brief moment he’s transformed into what Ben Solo once might have been.

“Rey...” he chokes out.

A mechanical whirring sounds from over the hill and she’s forced back to reality.

“Your mother will be looking for me,” she says.

He flinches, but nods. 

As she turns to go, he calls out to her again. “Rey…please.”

Somehow, even though he doesn’t vocalize it, she understands.

“We’ll meet again.”

He bows his head. “Thank you.” He watches her walk away and then fades into the night.

She catches up to BB-8 who’s beeping frantically about having to be out in the rain and she does her best to soothe the droid without letting on about what she’s been up to.

 

 

 

 

Later, when she’s in her bunk changed into dry clothes, there’s a knock on the door. Leia enters holding a blanket.

“Thought you might need an extra after your little adventure tonight.”

“Thanks,” Rey says accepting it.

Leia sits on the bed and pats the spot next to her. Rey joins her, hugging the blanket to her chest.

“I felt him tonight, Rey.”

Rey swallows and nods. Of course she knew. “He...was here. In a sense. He didn’t look well.”

Leia reaches for her hand in her lap and squeezes it.

“But I still feel the goodness in him, Leia.”

Leia nods. “I feel it too, dear.”

Rey shares a brief rundown of their connections through the Force and their battle against Snoke’s guards, though she leaves out a few details of their conversations that still feel too personal.

“I thought I could change his mind, but I realized ultimately it’s not up to me. He has to make that choice.”

Leia rubs a hand on her back. “You did the right thing, Rey. I was ready to give up on him. After Han, after Amilyn, after so much tragedy and pain, I wanted to turn my back on my son. It would’ve been the easy choice. But my brother reminded me that we can’t take the easy route - _no one’s ever really gone_. I still love him. I still have hope for him despite everything and I choose to keep believing in that.”

Rey looks at the older woman with wonder. No matter what Rey has suffered, Leia has been through so much more.

And yet Leia is the one giving her comfort.

“I have hope too,” Rey says. “Still.”

 

 

 

 

The ship lands rather precariously on the sandy shore. Rey waits until the engine quiets before she runs up to it. She glances up briefly at the row of blasters lining the top of the cliff. Poe had insisted on it no matter how much Rey tried to tell him that there was no threat of a surprise attack.

The door unlatches with a hiss of steam just as she reaches it. He stumbles out limping and clutching at a wound on his side.

At the sight of him, she forgets about all the eyes watching them and runs up the ramp to help him.

With an arm around her for support, he’s able to make if off the ship but after a few steps in the unsteady sand, he falls to his knees, doubled over in pain.

A voice on her comm calls for a stretcher and a med droid to be sent to the beach and Rey sits with his head resting in her lap.

Though he’s been seriously injured, he looks like he's been freed of a heavy burden. The eyes that were once dulled with regret, now flicker behind shimmering tears.

He looks at peace. But not ready to submit to his pain. The Force hums with his fighting will to live.

A wave laps onto the shore just far enough to soak into their clothes before retreating back to the sea.

Ben coughs and Rey presses a hand to his cheek to soothe him until medical attention arrives.

“Why?” he asks in between gasps for air. “After everything...”

“Because I knew.” She smiles and traces a finger down the scar on his face. “I knew that one day you’d see the light.”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing in the SW universe and I'm still getting used to the terminology so if I've made any glaring mistakes that's why.
> 
> A short playlist: title is from [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-T33P9IGhI). While I was writing I listened to [hard rain by Lykke Li](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLO408PZgek) which fit perfectly and also [The Distance by Exitmusic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtoDvSBxWE4).
> 
> Come find me on tumblr @[cosmicforces](https://cosmicforces.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
